AUTHOR: Cassie & Kristi
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Mountain Dew and the soundtrack to "The Matrix" as we write!!! Oh, and some 80's music too, just incase we run out of crazzy ideas!! Mwahh-haha!!
DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, Chris Carter, David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Nicholas Lea, Laurie Holden, Mimi Rogers,Joanne Service, Tea Leoni, Blue, and George, are not ours, they belong to themselves. Mulder, Krycek, Marita, Scully, Diana Fowley belong to 1013 Productions and Chris Carter, the creator.
DATE: October 29, 1999
RATING: pff... humor...
SPOILERS:um... we don't think so...
INT. KRYCEK'S CAR - AFTERNOON - MULDER DRIVING
It is very very sunny out and Mulder refuses to put on his sunglasses, he's not in the mood to listen to Krycek today.
Then why are you covering
your eyes with your hands??
(takes hands off steering
wheel, and covers his eyes
This is covering my eyes!
(grabs steering wheel)
EXT: TEN-THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS PARKING LOT - DAY
We see the car screeching to a stop next to some car with flame stickers on the side ...
I'm agent Fox Mulder
of the FBI, I'm in pursuit
of that man you just let in here.
Let me in.
No problem Mr. Duchovny.
INT. TEN-THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS
We see CHRIS CARTER hauling his BUTT down the hallway towards MULDER. Krycek is nowhere to be seen. He looks really pissed off.
I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder-
Don't give me that
this is the third time
this week that you've been late.
You know Gillian isn't happy with this,
She's been here since 6 O'clock this morning
and you come wandering in, pretending to be
Agent Fox Mulder!
What do you mean pretending?
I don't think you understand, sir.
INT. SOUND STAGE 5 - MULDER - ALONE
Mulder doesn't really care what he is doing. He needs to find Krycek, but he isn't worried that Krycek will drive away, since he has the keys. Mulder notices two women in the background ... he wanders towards them ... as he gets closer, we realize that it's Mimi Rogers and Gillian Anderson, with Piper Maru, they are playing, with David Duchovny's dog, Blue. Mulder approaches them, the dog runs up to him all happy!!
Where have you been?
Carter's been looking for you.
David? Aren't you supposed
to be on sound stage three?
(looking back and forth
between the two of them)
B-but, Scully ...
a-and (to Mimi, whom he
believes is Diana Fowley)why
you actin' all normal?
She looks for a reaction from "David's" face, perhaps for a sign of approval, sees a smile, runs and hugs his leg. In the background we hear someone else enter Sound Stage Five, it is Nicholas Lea, on a break from filming, on Sound Stage Three.
David! Cut it out!
Try any of that tailhook
crap on me Krycek or I'll
kick your a-
Mulder stops what he is doing, and looks at Carter. Puts his gun away ... he thinks he is dreaming, or dead from falling asleep in the car.
INT. TEN-THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS - THE CRAFT SERVICE TABLE - DAY
On the table we see boxes of doghnuts, cheese, a toaster, coffee, tea, water, tylenol, chips (of all types), and someone spilled a diet Coke. Oopsie! Krycek walks into the room, he smelled food, he spots a box of Cheerios.
Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, hair pulled back in a pony-tail, she just arrived from a jog ... she chugs a glass of water, and gulps it down. Turns to Krycek, and says:
(worried about their relationship)
Marita... who's Nic?
Are you okay?
What did they do to you?
Are you practicing new lines?
Is there an update in the script
that I haven't gotten yet?
Ready for our hot scene?
Krycek moves closer to Laurie Holden, takes her in his arms ... and kisses her neck.
INT. TEN-THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS - HALLWAY - DAY
Krycek is walking in the hallway, eating a glazed doghnut. He sees Mulder, and drops the doghnut, pulls out his gun. Mulder doesn't notice him, until he sees his gun. Mulder is just wandering around trying to find Sound Stage Three. He's curious as to why everyone wants him there, and who in the world is this Chris guy, who thinks that he can boss him around, and call him "David". He sees Krycek. He pulls out his gun.
What's going on?!
I don't know!
Where's Sound Stage Three!
I don't know!
Put your gun away!
You pulled your gun on me,
you put it away first!
I saw Marita.
What is she doing here?
Scully was talking to Diana Fowley,
some little girl hugged my leg, Scully
told me to go to Sound Stage Three.
Do you think we're in heaven?
I mean, what if I fell
asleep driving, and we didn't
realize it, because we don't know
we're dead, and this is some weird alternate
life, or we're just hallucinating ... but
I don't know why.
Let's get out of here.
Before that psycho-man
comes to find me again.
Who's ... Maddy?
Did you get any sleep
No, my waterbed sprung
David, we don't have a
Who is this David guy?
Why aren't you two on
Sound Stage Three?
Let's go. We've got deadlines.
INT. TEN-THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS - SOUND STAGE THREE - DAY
We see the crew exiting, they are finished filming for the day. Out walks David Duchovny and Nicholas Lea... Chris Carter looks very confused, as does Mulder, Krycek, Tea, and the crew, including David and Nic themselves!
(puts out his hand)
As Mulder and Krycek are being escorted out of the building, we hear a truck horn blowing!!!!
INT. KRYCEK'S CAR - MULDER FALLING ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL - DAY
The horn is getting louder! Krycek come back to reality, away from his bizarre dream, and realizes that there is a big semi-truck coming at them, as Mulder is dozing off.