Title: Ground Rules
Written By: Cassie & Kristi
Summary: Since Mulder knocked down the wall between his apartment and Krycek's last season ... some rules need to be made so they can live together in peace ... but will it work?
Disclaimer: We don't own Mulder, Krycek, Marita. They were created by Chris Carter. They are owned by Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX.
ANGLE - TV SET - MULDER/KRYCEK APT. - NIGHT
We see a group of serious type people (some in their underwear) playing TWISTER.
Two F.B.I. Agents...
We see a short red-headed female FBI agent running with a gun.
We see a tall brown haired male FBI agent lying on the ground being attacked by someone filming him with a camcorder...
And government conspirators...
ANGLE - MULDER & KRYCEK
sitting on the couch watching the TV they are grinning and laughing.
"Syndicate X"... A new series
about government conspiracies,
premieres tomorrow on MSK.
ANGLE - TV
We see people who resemble The Syndicate, Mulder, and Scully standing around together... arms crossed looking serious, and proud with the network's corny music playing.
Mulder flips off the TV he looks happy.
MULDERMulder nods in agreement.
Wow-wee! That looks good!
I was watching that.
But who really wants to
watch the next show when
the two main characters
hooked up and now it sucks?
What's it called again? (beat)
Well I only watch the
ones with that hot girl.
You got a point there buddy.
Now that the shows gone prime-time
porn, she does take her cloths off
more often, but it just sick how her
best friend got pregnant because of
her working partner.
Mulder walks off with the remote, not giving it back to Krycek. Krycek is irritated once again, and gets up and walks towards him.
KRYCEKMulder is hardly listening as he digs through the refrigerator.
Ya know Mulder, since you
broke down the wall and forced
me to live with you...
I think we should make some
Mulder pulls out some chicken.
Sure thing, buddy.
Rule number one: you
don't touch Marita.
Mulder gets orange juice out of the refrigerator and opens it.
He drinks out of the orange juice container. Krycek looks irritated again.
KRYCEKMulder still has some orange juice in his mouth. He grins and nods as he spits it back in the orange juice carton.
I bought that.
Krycek looks disgusted.
He holds the carton out to Krycek.
MULDERMulder opens the fridge, takes out pickles and asks:
Rule number two: don't just
take things I buy. Food, magazines
videos, nothin'. Don't use it
MULDERMulder opens the pickle jar and takes a pickle and eats it. One after the other until they are all gone. The fact that he just had some orange juice seems to have slipped his mind. Krycek watches as Mulder finishes off a full jar of pickles.
Are these yours?
(not knowing what to expect)
(teasing, haha breaking a rule)
Mmmm... these were so good.
Krycek looks mad.
KRYCEKAnd with that he starts to chug down the pickle juice. But somehow the sourness of the juice doesn't seem to bother him. Mulder, disgusted, leaves the room.
Yeah, well I'm still gonna
get my money's worth.
Krycek swallos and makes a face, it is actually disgusting for him...
What was I thinkin'?!
(from other room)
What ya say? (beat) Hey
Dogstar is on TV! They rock!
Mulder glances down at the coffee table where his porn magazine is wide open, he notices some pen markings in it, he pouts.
MULDERANGLE - KITCHEN
KRYCEK! Rule number three:
don't draw in my magazines.
MULDER'S POV - KRYCEK
has his head under the sink faucet, he's trying to get the pickle juice taste out of his mouth. Hearing Mulder whine, he starts to lauch, he gets water all over his head.
Mulder walks in.
What are you doing?
Krycek gets his head out of the sink.
(ignoring the fact)
He grabs a towel.
Didn't you even hear my rule?
He walks out of the kitchen.
(yelling after him)
Don't color my magazines!
Krycek sits down on the couch and turns on the TV and VCR, he presses PLAY, and picks up a magazine and starts doodling.
ANGLE - TV
it's the home video Krycek and Marita made during the vacation on the cruice boat a while back. We see cloths flying off them and Krycek's naked butt.
ANGLE - KRYCEK
looks horrified, the sounds from the TV intensify. There is screaming and yelling and moans and groans. Mulder sits down next to Krycek, he's grinning.
MULDERKrycek starts to leave to put his tape away. Mulder mocks his last line.
Hey, I forgot to tell you I
found the porn you starred in.
Is that how you met Marita? She's
hot in this.
Rules number four: What the
hell are you doing with this?!-
-That's not a rule!
(taking out the tape)
The rules is... don't watch
Well then (beat) rule number
five: no making home porn videos
that I can find.
Krycek angrily starts to walk where the wall used to be he's mumbling something in Russian. SUDDENLY! He trips and falls over some of the plaster that still hasn't been picked up from when Mulder knocked down the wall. He let's out a painful 'yelp!'
(he's losing his tember)
Rulse number six!: Clean
up your mess!
Mulder starts to shake his head.
Nuh-uh!.. that's on your side
of the apartment.
This is one apartment, you
knocked it down, you pick
Krycek storms towards him and punches him off the couch.
MULDERHe punches Krycek.
AAARRUUGH! That hurt! (beat)
Rule number seven!: DON'T HURT
Rules number eight!: DON'T
CALL ME PUNK!
Krycek WHACKS Mulder.
MULDERKrycek rolls his eyes, and almost chuckles...
You broke rule number seven!
(beat)Rule number nine: You
have to be nice to the 'Birthday
KRYCEKThere is an awkward silence, Krycek shrugs his shoulders. Mulder just looks at him.
Your birthday was a few
And you didn't get me anything!
(very calm, quiet)
Rule number ten: (get's aggressive)
Don't you ever ever forget
your friends birthday!
Krycek is amused.
When's my birthday?
Mulder has no clue, but it's not showing on his face. He's gonna attempt to guess.
MULDERHe walks off.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. HAPPY GILLIGAN'S GROCERY STORE - 1 A.M.
We see Bob: The Cashier Man sweeping crushed M&Ms off the floor. Mulder and Krycek pass him, the camera follows them.
MULDERBob passes by them, still sweeping the floor.
This isn't a marriage, Krycek.
Not that I'd be low enough
to marry you. We're only sharing
an apartment because you broke
down the wall. If I had it my way
I'd break into the apartment across
the hallway and move there.
That would be illegal.
Do I care?
I don't think you care
Hey you! Do you think
(shrugs, he doesn't know)
Krycek turns to Mulder.
KRYCEKBob walks off, getting out the conversation as soon as possible. Mulder gives Krycek a 'haha' look.
He doesn't know that
you intend on breaking
into an apartment that
isn't available to you,
to get out of having a
Oh no way dude!
MULDERKrycek glares at Mulder.
See even he understands.
KRYCEKMulder grins and picks up a box of 'Lucky Charms'.
Rule number fifty-seven:
don't make me look stupid
in front of other people.
Rule fifty-eight: We have
to buy 'Lucky Charms' everytime
we run out.
Rule number fifty-nine:
He holds up a box of Cheerios with a cute little Bee on it.
TIME CUT TO:
INT. MULDER & KRYCEK'S APT. - DARK OUT STILL (NIGHT?/MORNING?)
Krycek and Mulder are still on their couch as re-runs of the local news is airing.
They have had a few beers. They are eathing their choice of cereal... with alcohol instead of milk. They sound drunk and tired.
Rule 162: buy
Rule number 163: I
Mulder attempts to stand... but fails and falls back onto the couch, causing Krycek to spill his cereal all over him. Mulder chuckles.
KRYCEKMulder can only manage to get a grunt of exhaustion out.
I need sleep, Mulder.
KRYCEKMulder starts to snore, Krycek looks over to him.
I really do.
KRYCEKKrycek's eyes start to shut.
Hmmm... you've got it
KRYCEKKrycek's head falls back, Mulder cuddles up to him, Krycek starts slipping off the couch, they are both offically asleep... off the image of two friends we: