Title: Friends In Low Places
Author: Cassie
Date: September 15, 2000
Summary: Things get hot and steamy between Mulder and Scully after they get drunk at a bar ...
Author's Note: All my Noromo friends... FORGIVE ME MY SINS!!!!
Disclaimer: Ok, so sue me! I was sick for a moment in my life! I wrote this for all my shipper friends (Ally, SLS, handful of people at Haven message boards, and the shippers on the DFHB list that I work up from time to time with my Noromo ramblings... this is for you!), but don't worry Noromos, I've used my Noromo views well. Mulder, Scully, Krycek and Marita do not belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and 20th Century FOX. I have used part of Garth Brooks' "Friends In Low Places" lyrics ... i do not have permission and I'm so very very sorry for mixing that with this fic, but it works well!!
Rating: Wrong.
Feedback: Please, I don't have faith in this story at all!!!


Loud country music, smoke and drunk people. A few tough men stand at a pool table where no other than Mulder and Scully are shooting a game of pool. It is Scully's turn to shoot.

(leaning over table)
Eight ball, corner pocket.

She takes aim and shoots, the ball is good and the spin Scully put on the cue ball, bounces if far from the pocket to prevent it from following the 8 ball in. Scully rises and smirks at Mulder.

(wise-ass to Mulder)
I told you!

Mulder sneers at her, disgusted at how well she can shoot pool, especially since he and Krycek bought a pool table and can practice as much as they want.

Mulder and Scully head toward the bar. Mulder signals the bartender for another round of beer.

(pulling out money)
This one's on me.

Well it's about time!
I had no clue betting
against you on pool could
cost me so much -

- and I had no clue
you'd continue paying after
so many losses.

They share a laugh. The bartender hands them their drinks and they head back to the table where Krycek is, waiting for them. Krycek has a goofy expression on his face. As they sit down, his lips part to reveal a lemon.

Oh God! Krycek!

Bet you're wondering
how long that's been
in my mouth...

No. Not really.

Two games ago...

Scully and Mulder share looks of disgust.

Suddenly the bar door opens and Marita enters, definitely catching Krycek's attention and that of Mulder and Scully.

I'll be right back, guys.

With that, Scully gets up and goes to the ladies room. Marita approaches Mulder and Krycek.

(sad, depressed)
Hi guys...

Krycek stands up next to her. He's got to get her out of there before Scully gets back, otherwise ... it could get ugly.

Marita, I've got to talk
to you about something
very important.

He turns to Mulder and mouths off "I'm getting her out of here.", as he leads Marita back out of the bar.

Nice seeing you Marita!

Krycek looks back to him, with a look that says "warning! Rule #1!", as they exit the bar.

Mulder takes on last gulp of his beer to finish it off and orders yet another for him and Scully. Within a few minutes, Scully emerges from the ladies room, she's freshened up a bit ... and untucked her white blouse, Mulder glances over and checks her out for just a moment. He gives her a smile as she sits down.

Did Krycek leave already?

Yep ...

Garth Brooks' "Friends In Low Places" comes on and Mulder's eyes light up! What a song!

Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair...

Can you line dance, Scully?

As good as I can shoot pool!

The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one you thought
you'd see there...

Scully stands up and takes Mulder's hand and leads him out onto the dance floor.

And I saw the surprise
And the look in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne...

Mulder and Scully pose as if about to ballroom dance ... a la PMP.

(M&S singing too)
And I toasted you
Said honey we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain!!!

And as the music picks up, they keep singing while line dancing with each other.

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay...

TIME CUT (as music fades):

Hours and drinks later...


A drunk Mulder, carrying a drunk Scully on his back, stumble through the door. Scully is almost passed out, but very capable of blabbing.

- a-and dogs and cats
even zoo animals are mammals...

She kicks the door shut behind her, while remaining on Mulder's back her arms holding him around the neck, she's speaking into his ear.

-oh oh! Except (beat)
fish ... and ...

No silly! They're
mammals too...

(plops down on couch, Scully behind him)
Dana! Fish arenít mammals ..

Where's the cab?

Yes, yes, the nice driver
brought us home.

He and Scully look around the apartment that they share with Krycek. There's 2 TVs in the living room, a dart board on the door, a pool table as a dining room table... it's a mess.

This is your home now
too, you know.

Scully squirms to lay down on the couch, behind Mulder. He looks back at her and laughs.


You're cute when you're -

- when I'm what?

She pokes Mulder in his side and smiles seductively at him.

I don't know.
I guess I like you
that's all.

Like me, like me?
Or ... like me, like me?

She sits up in the corner of the couch, Mulder becomes a bit embarrassed, there is a moment of complete silence, Mulder moves in a little closer to her ... there's so much sexual tension right now, they can barely stand it ... with each passing moment, Mulder moves closer and closer ...

Scully, I -

Scully places her index finger on his lips to quiet him.

(whispers in his ear, seriously)
- I know...

Mulder gazes at her lips and then his eyes move to her eyes, their lips are millimeters apart. Scully lets out a nervous breath and closes her eyes as Mulder's lips inch closer to hers. Before they both know it, their lips meet, gently and lovingly. They part for an instant and then Scully grabs Mulder by the back of his head and brings her lips to his, in a more passionate kiss, as she slips down to a lying position on the couch. Mulder climbs on top of her, placing his hand up the side of her shirt. Scully runs her fingers through his hair as they become more and more passionate ... more ... involved. Scully moves her hands from the back of his head to his neck, caressing her fingertips as she moves her hands down his back, grasping his shirt and untucking it. Still kissing him, she pushes him to a kneeling position and pulls his shirt off. Their lips part for another moment. Mulder begins to unbutton her untucked blouse, aroused by this, Scully pushes Mulder down on the couch and lies on top of him, kissing him passionately. After a few passionate and revealing moments, Mulder pushes her away, stopping something very very bad.

(sits on edge of couch)
Stop. This is wrong.

Scully wraps her arms around him, flirtatiously, and kisses his neck.

What do you mean?

(unwraps her arms)
What I mean is, we can't
do this.

Scully backs away, feeling rejected. Understandably emotional after what has happened to her (Marita's betrayal of her friendship, breakup with Skinner, etc)

I don't want to take advantage
of you. You're vulnerable now.

Scully is now rebuttoning her shirt, tears in her eyes, she knows that Mulder is right.

You're the only one
I have right now, Mulder...

Mulder puts his arm around her, they say nothing ... both knowing that they can only be friends ...



Mulder and Scully both fell asleep on the couch, watching "Swingers". Krycek enters, coming back from a night spent at Marita's apartment. He sees them there, Mulder with his shirt off and Scully's lipstick on his lips. Scully next to Mulder, her head resting on his shoulder, her blouse buttons, buttoned up wrong. He stops dead in his tracks.

(to himself)
Oh no ... they didn't...

Krycek walks over to Mulder and shakes him awake.

Hey Mulder ...

Mulder groggily looks up at him, and smiles.

(looks to Scully)
What happened?

Mulder stands up and rubs his sleepy eyes.

What do you mean?

Krycek points to Scully, and her messy hair, and her wrongly buttoned blouse. He drags Mulder into the dining room. Mulder is confused.

(loud whispering, disgusted)
Did you sleep with her?!

(trying to remember)
I don't know, we were
both very drunk (beat)
I think...

Krycek rolls his eyes.

In the living room, Scully wakes up, confused as to why she fell asleep on the couch. Her eyes go big as she realizes that her shirt is not on right! She quickly fixes that and her hair.

Krycek in the other room, grabs a napkin from the dining room table/pool table, and wipes lipstick from Mulder's lips, then shows Mulder the napkin.

Oh God. I slept with her!

Ew! Mulder!

Scully enters the room. Krycek hides the napkin behind his back.

Uh. Good morning, ummm...
Mulder can I speak to you?
(looks at Krycek) In private.

Krycek throws both arms up in the air, indicating "fine with me!" the napkin flies out of his hand, he quickly grabs it out of the air and quickly bows out. Once he's out of sight, to them, yet still listening in from behind the wall...

Mulder, did we...

I sure hope not.

Me too!

So we didn't, right?

(not really sure)
Yeah, I guess so.

They aren't really sure although we all know that they DID NOT HAVE SEX. Mulder approaches her..

(whispers in her ear)
For the record, even if something
*did* happen. Deny everything!

I totally agree! (beat)
One last thing (beat) we
never EVER tell Skinner any of this!

They shake hands on it and in the other room Krycek shudders at the thought of what may have happened, and they will never know for sure.